Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
