So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
