also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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