I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
