i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
