yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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