I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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