You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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