i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
