So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
