I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
