they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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