i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My liver just broke up with me...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
