bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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