apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
