he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
