So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
