Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
