i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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