Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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