Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
