Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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