why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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