ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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