You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
