But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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