whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
