We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
