Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
