You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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