Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
