Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
