I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's like heaven, but drunker
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
