Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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