Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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