well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
