Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
