R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
