you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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