Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
