Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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