Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
