I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
