So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
