You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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