chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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