so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
