Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
