Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
