im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
