I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
