I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
are you so shy because you have an std?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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