OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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