Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
