yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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