I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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