Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
