oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
