real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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