You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
