i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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