im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dignity is for republicans.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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