did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
